After reading the agony you have gone through, I have two words "reversible vasectomy." It appears to me that you have made a great effort to humor your husband's dislike of a latex sheath, so now it is his turn to go to a urologist and have a valve put in. It can scar and it may not be fully reversible, but it does not have any hormones involved. The biggest downside for him is the possibility of buildup causing pain. If that is too much of a fear, then he needs to get comfortable with the sheath for a while to give you a break.
Just my two cents worth. I hope this is helpful. For educational purposes only. I cannot diagnose or treat via the web.
Chris Maloney, N.D.