I also am troubled with PTSD. I understand the feeling of being worthless and always wanting to be alone. I am also doing a PTSD workbook as well as going through hypnotic treatment. I have also recently started taking medication. The workbook is hard, but you have to do it. The hypnosis seems to be working, every day get\'s a little brighter. But I can honestly say that if my wife wouldn\'t have made me confront this and get help that I would still be the same person as the father of your children. My father also struggles with this. He went for 20 years before he go any help. The VA has helped him tremendously, and they could probably help you find more information. It will probably take a little push, but you sound like a strong person. Good luck to you, you are on the right track.