I started off on Celexa but it affected me sexually, so the psychiatrist added Wellbutrin. The Wellbutrin did not help so the dosage was raised to 300mg and it made me crazy (crying, irrational, thought I was losing my mind). Then I was put on Zoloft. I was a zombie. I wasn\'t happy or sad - I felt NOTHING. I also gained 10 pounds in the year and a half I was on it. I tried to go off it myself cold turkey and it made me really sick, with a migraine and vomiting etc. I could not handle the withdrawal so my PCP put me on Prozac. I gained another 10 pounds over a year.

I explained that the weight gain was now adding to my depression so I was put on Effexor XR. I gained another 10 pounds. My doctor thought I should go off the birth-control pill to off-set the weight gain. I have been on birth control for 11 years because I have 2 uterus’ and haven\'t had PMS in 11 years. OK so now I am fat, I have acne from my hormones going nuts and PMS is a bitch (no pun intended).

I am at the point now where I am happy with my life, there is no reason for me to be on meds - but I am petrified to go off because of the withdrawal.

I am also petrified because I don\'t know if I will even like myself anymore when I am off. I haven\'t been myself for 3 years!!

When I am not on drugs, I am a very emotional person, passionate and feel everything deeply. My feelings are easily hurt. I cry watching Oprah for Pete’s sake! I don\'t know if I want to go back to that but feel like it is nuts that I am on anti-depressants when I have a great life, job, husband, friends etc.

So my decision is to wean myself off of Effexor and see if I can live with myself. Today my doctor reduced my dosage from 150mg per day to 75mg + 40 mg of Adderall... and right now I am sitting at work as high as a kite from the Adderall. I didn\'t know it would do that. It is supposed to make me lose the weight the anti-depressants put on me. I am not holding my breath - because from what I have read, the weight does not come off even after you stop taking the anti-depressants. Is that true? I have read many posts about the withdrawal - does this apply when weaning off too or just cold turkey? I hope that weaning off will work. My doctor wants me on 75mg for 1 month, and then we will go lower. Any advice?